


Would You Be So Kind

by orionstarlight



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, I Love You, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Scars, Song Lyrics, Song: Would You Be So Kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:33:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24643387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orionstarlight/pseuds/orionstarlight
Summary: “I wish it was easier to say. It’s three words right? So, why do they seem so far away?”Villanelle smiles. “It’s normal to be afraid, Eve. We can’t always be strong, can’t always be brave. We’re allowed to be human.”“Everyone always says that but I-I don’t want to be afraid. I don’t want to be weak. I like being strong, in control. If I don’t have that… then what do I have?” she asks, overcome with emotions she’s always repressed. She doesn’t like this person she’s becoming, and yet she wants to see who she can be.“You have me, Eve. You will always have me.”—————In which Eve and Villanelle struggle with saying I love you to each other for the first time
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 4
Kudos: 132





	Would You Be So Kind

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! this is my second villanelle fic and i quite like how it turned out, so i hope you do too!!

* * *

**_I have a question_ **

**_It might seem strange_ **

“We still haven’t said it,” she whispers, Eve’s body warm against her’s despite the taste of the bitter wind on their skin.

“Said what?”

“I love you.”

A beat passes. Villanelle carefully fingers the stitches on Eve’s upper thigh where she’d been grazed by a bullet not too long ago. The newest of all her scars, but Villanelle still holds the lead, 17-11.

“Since when have we used words to describe how we feel?” asks Eve, sitting up and looking at the blonde, at the way her eyes watch her carefully to make sure she doesn’t try to leave.

“Don’t normal people do that? Use words to communicate?”

**_How are your lungs?_ **

**_Are they in pain?_ **

Eve laughs, shortly, but she still laughs. “V, I’d say we are the furthest thing from normal. But is that really so bad?”

“No,” she says softly. “I suppose I’ve never been like everyone else.”

Neither of them have ever been like everyone else. They knew that from a young age, when they found interest in things other than dolls with pretty dresses and boys that pulled their pigtails on the playground.

Villanelle runs her fingers through her lover’s hair, through the abundance of curls that drew her in so carefully the first time. What’s the point of being normal? Working a 9 to 5 job, getting married, settling down? It’s boring, senseless, and what they have together is so much more than that. Just because they’re always running, always looking over their shoulder, doesn’t mean they don’t have what everyone else does.

Love comes in different forms. According to the Greeks, it’s Eros, Philia, Ludus, Agape, Pragma, Philautia. The Romans added Storge, Mania, Kits. Humans, mortals, define it using simpler terms, like friendship or fondness or even respect.

**_‘Cause mine are aching_ **

**_Think I know why_ **

“Is it a crime to want to be normal?” whispers Villanelle.

“No,” Eve whispers back. “But it hurts knowing it’s not an option. Better not to think about it than to be plagued by it.”

Villanelle places a soft hand on the brunette’s cheek, her thumb drawing circles on her cheekbone. “And are you? Plagued by it?”

“Sometimes. After we fight, when we’re apart. When I can’t touch you and know everything is going to be okay.” Eve grasps the blonde’s hand tightly where it lays on her face.

**_I kinda like it though_ **

**_You wanna try?_ **

“We could give it a go. Move somewhere with no extradition, build a home. A place just for us, an untouchable place.”

“Do you want that? Do you think we could live like that?”

“Remember what I told you? The night you stabbed me?” There’s no use in denying they’ve hurt each other in the past, but it still makes them tense just to mention how far their hatred used to go.

Eve pulls Villanelle towards her, taking her in her arms and holding her close, so that her ear is pressed against her chest, listening carefully to the way her heart beats. “I asked what you wanted. And you said normal stuff. A nice life. Cool flat. Fun job. Someone to watch movies with.”

“We can have that, right? With each other?”

**_Oh would you be_ **

**_So kind_ **

**_As to fall in love with me, you see_ **

**_I’m trying_ **

“I think so,” smiles Eve. “But I don’t know how normal everything else would be.”

“It’s only four things,” says Villanelle, slinking out of Eve’s grip and standing up slowly, looking up at the millions of stars in the sky that watch them. Four things can’t possibly be that hard to achieve, can they? Not after you’ve been through hell and back.

Eve stands up too. “Only four things.”

She puts her head against the blonde’s chest and they both hold each other, swaying to the music in their heads. They imagine what it might be like, what things would be scattered on the floor of the flat, how many adventures they would have, if they would watch more horror movies or comedy to alleviate the mood. Would they drink wine or whiskey? Would they have the time to care for a pet?

**_I know you know that I like you_ **

**_But that's not enough_ **

**_So if you will_ **

**_Please fall in love_ **

“Any ideas where you want to go?”

“Armenia is pretty,” replies Villanelle. “I’ve been there a couple of times. Or we can go somewhere colder.”

“I suppose Russia is out of the question,” chuckles Eve lowly. 

Villanelle takes the hair out of Eve’s face, looking into those brown eyes that call to her on late mornings, eyes that let her know there’s a special place in Eve’s heart for her. “What about South Korea? You always said you wanted to go but never had the chance.”

“Maybe. A visit definitely, but to stay? I’d have to think about it.”

“We have time. All the time in the world.”

Eve leans up slightly, her lips but a whisper against Villanelle’s. They close the gap slowly, all the unsure feelings running through them washing away during the kiss. They’re honest in this moment, raw vulnerability in the air, so what can they do but give in to it?

**_I think it's only fair_ **

**_There's gotta be some butterflies somewhere_ **

**_Wanna share?_ **

“I wish it was easier to say. It’s three words right? So, why do they seem so far away?”

Villanelle smiles. “It’s normal to be afraid, Eve. We can’t always be strong, can’t always be brave. We’re allowed to be human.”

“Everyone always says that but I-I don’t want to be afraid. I don’t want to be weak. I like being strong, in control. If I don’t have that… then what do I have?” she asks, overcome with emotions she’s always repressed. She doesn’t like this person she’s becoming, and yet she wants to see who she can be.

“You have me, Eve. You will always have me.”

**_'Cause I like you_ **

**_But that's not enough_ **

**_So if you will_ **

**_Please fall in love with me_ **

“I’m sorry,” says Eve. “But I just… I can’t say it.”

“You don’t have to say it. I’m not forcing you to. Knowing is enough for me,” says Villanelle, smiling at her lover, spinning her to the melody going round and round in her head. There are better ways of saying ‘I love you’ than using those three words.

“V-”

The blonde presses her lips to the brunette’s, silencing her. She already knows she’s going to try to apologise again, and it’s unnecessary. It’s not what she wants from her.

“In case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t said it either. Neither of us need to say it to know it. Like you said, we are the furthest thing from normal. Is that really so bad?”

Eve smiles back. “No. Not when we have each other.”

**_Let’s write a story_ **

**_Be in my book_ **

Though she’s shorter, her hands tangle in her hair, pulling her close once more, their noses pressed against each other. The air is hot, heavy, and Villanelle knows how to take a hint. Her fingers find their way up her shirt, unhooking her bra and helping Eve out of it before she returns the favour.

Eve backs away a little, keeping the eye contact as she picks up her shirt by the hem and pulls upwards, her hair bouncing when she shakes it loose.

**_You’ve got to join me on my page_ **

**_At least take a look_ **

“Eve…”

“My way of saying it,” she breathes, pulling down her trousers along with her underwear, stepping out of the clothes ever so carefully before kicking them away. She moves back to Villanelle but doesn’t let her touch her. She’s making her wait, making her be patient.

**_Oh, where are your manners?_ **

**_You need some time?_ **

She helps Villanelle out of her own clothes, placing kisses on every scar she finds. She counts with every kiss, driving her lover crazy, but she doesn’t stop, not until every single one has been kissed. All seventeen of them.

She runs her fingers across her collarbone, under her jaw, down her side, on her thighs. She feels every bump, every groove, thinking about the stories her skin hides. She’s heard most of them before. She wants to hear them again after this, as well as the new ones. She wants to know more about her than she knows about herself.

Gently, she pushes her down onto the ground, legs locked around her waist, the two of them sitting up and looking at what their eyes hide.

**_Let’s swap chests today_ **

**_That might help you decide_ **

Eve places Villanelle’s palm over her heart. “It beats like that for you. _Only_ for you.” Villanelle puts Eve’s palm over her own heart too.

“Looks like we have something in common,” she whispers.

She lets her touch her now and it means everything to her. She feels her openness through her skin, the way she’s letting herself be vulnerable. She is, despite everything she’s said, relinquishing control.

Her breath is hot on her body as she lies Eve flat on her back, fingers slipping ever so carefully between her thighs, touching her where she needs her most. It’s soft, slow, and it nearly has Eve begging. But she doesn’t. She stays quiet apart from the gasps and moans she can’t help.

_Give in, give in, give in_ , races through her mind. _Put your trust in her._

“You were wrong,” Eve whispers, barely managing to get the words out as Villanelle picks up the pace, her mouth nipping at her breasts.

She looks down at her lover. “About?”

**_Oh would you be_ **

**_So kind_ **

**_As to fall in love with me, you see_ **

**_I’m trying_ **

“Saying it. You said it when we were in Rome.”

Villanelle carefully moves herself down Eve’s body, sucking gently on her clit, tongue sending her into a spiral. Her hands tighten in her hair, pulling her closer and closer.

The coil in her abdomen tightens and she’s almost there, so close to release, but Villanelle stops at the last minute, makes eye contact.

“Doesn’t count,” she whispers.

“Why not?”

“Because you didn’t love me back.”

And before she can think, before she can answer, Villanelle’s mouth for back to work, teasing and unrelenting. 

“Oh, my God!” 

The waves travel through her body, the feeling of ecstasy so strong she swears she’s falling, but Villanelle catches her in her arms, letting Eve settle in the crook of her neck. She’s safe. She gave over control but she’s safe. 

**_I know you know that I like you_ **

**_But that's not enough_ **

**_So if you will_ **

**_Please fall in love_ **

“Hey, V?”

“Yeah?” she murmurs in response.

“I love you.”

Villanelle smiles against the brunette's wonder of hair. “I love you too.”

**_I think it’s only fair_ **

**Author's Note:**

> [my ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/erissapphic)


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